The Power of Words to Hurt
I started this blog towards the end of 2009 because I had reached a certain weight that I was simply not happy with and it was time to get my health in control. The other reason that inspired this blog was a comment that my aunt made to me in 2009.
My aunt lives with my mom. She’s in her late 70’s. Back in 2009 she made a comment to me that she felt that I was always on a diet but never losing weight. She said that for all the dieting I have been doing I seem to always gain weight instead of losing. Obviously, those words cut really deep and hurt my feelings. My family for the most part is super close, encouraging and your typical Caribbean family. But they are also very honest, brutal and don’t always know how to choose their words. When she made that comment, I was hurt for days. It was towards the end of the year and I was so determined to getting healthy and losing weight.
Well, fast forward to this past Sunday September 1, 2013, I’m at my parent’s house and my cousins were in town from Canada. When my cousin saw me, he was commenting on how much weight I loss and how I look great. I of course was beyond happy. (No matter how confident a person is; it’s always a great feeling to hear positive encouragement from people that show’s your hard work is paying off.)
Any way, once my cousin made this WONDERFUL comment, my same aunt that made the negative comment in 2009 that hurt my feelings, says she doesn’t think I loss weight and thinks that my cousin was wrong. And for some reason, her comment hurt me more this time around then three years ago. I tried to ignore it as I was busy tending to my daughter at the time but it I couldn’t shake how much it hurt my feelings again. I was so mad at myself for letting a comment that my 70-year-old aunt made bother me so much.
I started to doubt all the hard work I am doing, started to doubt my work as a health coach. (I mean how can I be a health coach and have issues achieving my own personal weight loss/healthy living goals). I mean all kinds of crazy thoughts came to my head and I just couldn’t believe it. I have come so far in my weight loss and I just couldn’t understand how I could let my aunts one comment make my three years of hard work feel like nothing. I have lost weight, I am stronger and I feel great so why was I sad and feeling down on myself.
I am normally a pretty strong person with a tough skin, but I have always been super sensitive when it comes to my weight, no matter how tough I am with any other situation. This is an area that I thought I was making progress with handling but clearly I still have some work to do.
At the end of the day, I know that everything that I am doing to get healthier is for ME and know one else. I am working hard on myself. People will come and go, will judge and offer their opinions, but I can’t lose sight of the end goal. My health and wellness journey has had a series of highs and lows but my ultimate goal is to be healthier and happier in life and share the importance of being healthy with my kids, my family and my community and that will never change no matter how many negative comments come my way. I will always remain positive on my journey and encourage everyone in my life who is working towards a healthier lifestyle.
How do you handle negative comments, especially when it comes from family members, which of course always hurts the most?