December 22, 2014
I was initially going to go a different direction with this post but while getting my daughter ready for bed tonight she randomly said to me Mommy “what are you thankful for?” And it just gave me pause when she said that and I had a moment of reflection on what I’m thankful for not just this year but in life.
I’m ending this year on a sad note. Over the weekend, a dear cousin of mine passed away. His name was Alex and he was in a horrible car accident in Canada. When I was younger, I spent all of my summers in Montreal, Canada with my family. My parents would send my sisters and I from June-August. Alex and I were beyond close. Some of my happiest childhood memories are with him in Canada. As we got older, we didn’t stay in touch as much as I wish we had, but we always had so much love for each other and a few years ago reconnected and would chat on Facebook. We would also stay updated on each other through other family members.
Needless to say, hearing about his passing has hit me really hard. I feel like a piece of my childhood is gone. I spent the weekend, just sad and reflecting on my memories of him. I keep wishing I would have called him or we would have remained in touch more. I found myself reading some of our old emails and exchanges on Facebook and just wished I would have called him or we would have talked more. I would give anything to just hear his voice one last time.
I woke up this morning and started to slowly come to grip with the reality that he’s gone. The past few days, I’ve honestly been an emotional mess. I couldn’t talk about him without crying and I really didn’t leave the house. Today, I started to feel a bit better and woke up and took my daughter out for a bit.
The funeral is next weekend and I will be leaving for Canada the day after Christmas.
When I think about the question my daughter asked me “what am I thankful for?” the answer is life and memories. I’m thankful for seeing another day and being given the chance to live my best life. I am thankful for the amazing family that I have and I’m thankful for all the memories we’ve made together and the memories we have to come.
As hard as Alex’s death has been on my family and I, the memories that I have in my heart will last forever and I’m so thankful to have those beautiful memories to hold on to. I’m so thankful to have had a cousin who I loved like a brother. I will miss him dearly but know he’s in a better place.
It’s very easy to allow life to get in the way of staying connected with family and friends that are far away, but as the year comes to an end, I just want to remind you to make time for those you love and be thankful for all the people you have in your life. I come from a HUGE family and it’s sometimes hard to check-in with everyone, but in 2015, I definitely want to do better.
What are you thankful for?